Tét Chaje

BONJOU!!!
Tét chaje deja. SVP, w'ap tounen demen. Mesi anpil.

This is the sign on my door. Or will be as soon as Ashley and I make it. LOL

Translation:
GOOD MORNING!!!
My head has reached maximum capacity already. Please return tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Yeah, so that's been my state for about the past week and I'm not really sure what to do accept feel like an idiot when my brain freezes and I can no longer speak English, Creole, or remember what I'm saying in either language. Argh.

Today, Ashley and I went to the bookstore and LOOKED AT BOOKS! (Thank you, Captain Obvious).  But is was actually really cool: I saw a book of 999 Haitian Proverbs in English and Creole. Here is the proverb that struck me in the right way (funny how the right Haitian proverb seems to pop up just when I need it)

"Fók ou aprann p'pou konprann: si ou pa aprann w'ap rete déyé"
Translation:
You must learn to understand: if you don't learn, you will stay behind

Funny how often the opposite of how you feel is what you must learn/do. My current situation is a perfect example. I can feel myself growing and stretching and soaking up more and more. Now the challenge is figuring out what to do when your sponge is full. If you have any advice, please feel free to share!

On another note, I find it quite entertaining that no matter what, whenever I try to speak Creole Haitians laugh. I'm not sure if they're laughing cuz it's good or bad or just plain funny. I'm ok with it, it just cracks me up. AND whenever I speak Creole or do anything, Haitians are like, "Li inteligánt" (she's intelligent with maybe correct spelling--haha, that's ironic to the statement). Anyway, just an entertaining fact for the day.

Please leave advice or thoughts or random comments below. OR you can just read this and move on to something else. OR you can not read this at all and never know what you're missing! ORRRR...I have nothing else...Tét chaje.

Live and Love, my friends!

Kreyol in action

This may be the first day I begin to feel at home in Haiti. Today Ashley (the other volunteer from the States) and I went “out on the town” to explore and find our way around. This guy comes up along side us and passes us but says Bonjou so I replied the same and then he was saying something more to Ashley who was in front of me so I asked him what he was saying and then he starts speaking a bit of English (hows that for a runon sentence?). Anyway, he pretty much accompanied us the whole time we were out and I think Creole started sticking today by me trying to speak to him and by him speaking to me. This group of kids even stopped us to talk to us and tell us about this fundraiser they were having and I understood some of it. It was fun, actually and I quite feel at home now. I also discovered, if I’m trying to hear and understand Creole and I’m thinking in English, it doesn’t work out so well. Gotta start thinking in Creole or just turn off the thinking. I’m excited to get to the point where I don’t have to think so hard about what they’re saying to understand. Cuz right now, I have to be looking at them, listening closely, and thinking hard about what they’re saying in order to get it—and sometimes I don’t even get it, but oh well.

I am blessed.

I am blessed. In so many ways. I have people whom I love and who love me. I have a place to stay, food to eat, and I am learning so much. My life is changing, everyday I grow. It's so ironic that Life teaches you as you live it. I realized something big (for me anyway) yesterday: I've always thought that life is preparing and then performing (just like you do for a recital or concert), but it's not at all that way. Rather life is a continual learning process--you can never be fully "prepared" for the unexpected (otherwise, it wouldn't be unexpected), nor can you be fully "ready" for the unknown (otherwise it wouldn't be unknown). There's not place to learn better than in the thick of it, whatever "It" is: learning a language, performing a new piece, moving to a foreign country, doing a new sport or activity.

I've also been learning what to expect from myself. It's been a huge adventure, that's for sure! The accusation voice has been much more silent recently and it's amazingly freeing! This brings me to something else I've learned: when life becomes "goal-oriented", one loses sight of people, including self. Everything becomes a chore, a task, something to accomplish. That's all well and good until you fall short and the guilt comes flooding in--I didn't meet that time constraint, I didn't reach that goal, I didn't accomplish such and such. "Plan-based" schedules only get you so far. "People-base" schedules, letting people guide the goals one sets, I've learned is a better approach.  Leave the goals open-ended and see what can be accomplished. For example, if I have a new piece to learn, instead of setting dates with specific goals in mind, I can do as much as I can and see where I get. Practicing becomes a motivation rather than a chore or a duty. The end goal is exciting rather than a cause of elation or of dissatisfaction (usually the latter). In this view, one can still push themselves but without it becoming self-defeating and discouraging. This is all so new to me, but I'm going to try it. I have a feeling it will change the way I practice, the way I do everything I learn in life, and the way I teach and what I expect of my students.

I love being in Haiti.

I spent this past week with the Reinhards. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people as crazy as me and have a surrogate family for a week! They are absolutely wonderful!!

I still have so much to learn and I look forward to my growth as a person, as a human being, as a teacher, as a musician, and everything else!

Feel free to ask for prayer in your post or if you'd rather email me to keep it private (k.klopfenstein88@gmail.com). I love each one of you so much, even if I don't know you and you're reading this, I love you. :) So feel free to be open. If there's one thing I love about the Haitians, they say exactly what they mean and are not afraid to express themselves.  Di sa ou vle (say what you want). For me personally, I would love prayer in my new "expectations" and working through my still insecure feelings about teaching and having no idea what I'm doing and feeling very inadequate. But as my sister reminded me the other day, I would not be here if God wouldn't be mightier than I and will somehow enable me to do what I need to do here.

Two weeks!!

I can't believe I've already been in Haiti two weeks! It seems like time stopped once I got here.
The people are wonderful. They are friendly, beautiful, generous people. I've already learned that they don't like silence, being alone is not valued or even possible (there are people everywhere), and the most important thing that I love the most about Haitian people is that they will find a way to get something done. Problems in life are inevitable, but that doesn't stop them from working their way through it or around it.
My students are excited about music. They erupt after a concert, they want to learn (most of them), and they're absolutely adorable. I'm catching on to some of the language--I have many willing teachers. :)
The schedule is rather hectic. Pretty much going full speed from 8-21:30--sometimes later. But the other volunteers are great, fun, and we've found time to have fun at the same time.
I find myself thinking about my next year here and having a slight sense of fear about not having the company of the other volunteers, being on my own (even though I know I won't be--the Haitian teachers are awesome and have been very welcoming), not knowing the language. But I will make it. I believe I am supposed to be here and God will provide. I will learn. I will change. And I have no idea what it will be like.
If you would like to pray for me, specifically, I need sleep or just rest and my body is very tired. And wisdom in how to interact with people--always a prayer request no matter where I am in the world. And ease with picking up the language and wisdom in adjusting to cultural changes, especially psychologically.
Thanks to all my friends. I love you!!
~Kelsey

Words of death and life.

Jesus came that we might have life—and have it abundantly!! Also, did you notice that nowhere in the bible does it say “God helps those who help themselves”. Nor does it imply that we have to do things on our own to somehow persuade God to help me. And it doesn’t say we have to work our tails off to get what we want or to do what God calls us to or anything else. You know what the Bible ACTUALLY says about what our level of action should be??

“…Trust in the Lord . . . Dwell . . . feed on His faithfulness . . . delight in the Lord . . . Commit your way to the Lord . . . Trust . . . Rest and wait . . . do not fret . . .” Those are the words of life (Psalm 37:1-8). America’s version and hence my version: “Work . . . work hard . . . don’t take a break . . . breaks are for losers . . . sleep is overrated . . . rest is for weaklings . . . you control your life . . . work harder . . . control yourself and your time and your life and your future . . . if you’re not doing anything, you’re worthless . . . activity . . . job . . . money . . . meet the expectations of a working, active, fast-paced world . . .” Words of death, no?

"Details"

I will be leaving July 12!
The summer camps (two) will be first and then I have about a month before school starts on September 10. During the school year, I will be teaching elementary kids, conducting the Jr. High orchestra, and teach some private students, to name a few things. I'm super excited! I honestly wish I knew more and was more experienced, but I guess there's only one way to get experience--plunge in head-first and just do it!

Change or die!

"God does not call the equipped; He equips the called."

I have officially graduated from Bradley University; I am no longer and never will be an undergraduate student again. For this I am beyond grateful. However, I am sad to be leaving SO MANY people I love. I feel like I am moving on before my time--so many conversations left un-conversed, so many relationships underdeveloped, just begun; so many hearts untapped, so many people I don't know well enough to say good-bye for a while. I love watching people grow and being there to encourage them and I won't be here to witness some of my closest friends and family grow.

Change is inevitable. "Change or die." "Nothing survives but change." My circle of influence is about to change. I have two options: 1. try to hold on to all that I know and clamp tight to those things I feel like I'm losing. 2. Embrace the impending change, the unknown, the new and unfamiliar. Obviously, the second option would be the healthier choice as I cannot in any way hold on to what is passed. And trusting that God works all things together for good, those conversations and relationships that I feel like I'm losing: what I cannot do, He will complete. I trust what has been done in the last year is enough and God will fill in where I have failed. He is not limited by my humanness.

And so I go on to Haiti. I choose to embrace every part of the change that it will entail. Am I afraid? I was. But I have absolute confidence in the One who has never failed me and He has cast out all need for fear.