I am blessed.

I am blessed. In so many ways. I have people whom I love and who love me. I have a place to stay, food to eat, and I am learning so much. My life is changing, everyday I grow. It's so ironic that Life teaches you as you live it. I realized something big (for me anyway) yesterday: I've always thought that life is preparing and then performing (just like you do for a recital or concert), but it's not at all that way. Rather life is a continual learning process--you can never be fully "prepared" for the unexpected (otherwise, it wouldn't be unexpected), nor can you be fully "ready" for the unknown (otherwise it wouldn't be unknown). There's not place to learn better than in the thick of it, whatever "It" is: learning a language, performing a new piece, moving to a foreign country, doing a new sport or activity.

I've also been learning what to expect from myself. It's been a huge adventure, that's for sure! The accusation voice has been much more silent recently and it's amazingly freeing! This brings me to something else I've learned: when life becomes "goal-oriented", one loses sight of people, including self. Everything becomes a chore, a task, something to accomplish. That's all well and good until you fall short and the guilt comes flooding in--I didn't meet that time constraint, I didn't reach that goal, I didn't accomplish such and such. "Plan-based" schedules only get you so far. "People-base" schedules, letting people guide the goals one sets, I've learned is a better approach.  Leave the goals open-ended and see what can be accomplished. For example, if I have a new piece to learn, instead of setting dates with specific goals in mind, I can do as much as I can and see where I get. Practicing becomes a motivation rather than a chore or a duty. The end goal is exciting rather than a cause of elation or of dissatisfaction (usually the latter). In this view, one can still push themselves but without it becoming self-defeating and discouraging. This is all so new to me, but I'm going to try it. I have a feeling it will change the way I practice, the way I do everything I learn in life, and the way I teach and what I expect of my students.

I love being in Haiti.

I spent this past week with the Reinhards. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people as crazy as me and have a surrogate family for a week! They are absolutely wonderful!!

I still have so much to learn and I look forward to my growth as a person, as a human being, as a teacher, as a musician, and everything else!

Feel free to ask for prayer in your post or if you'd rather email me to keep it private (k.klopfenstein88@gmail.com). I love each one of you so much, even if I don't know you and you're reading this, I love you. :) So feel free to be open. If there's one thing I love about the Haitians, they say exactly what they mean and are not afraid to express themselves.  Di sa ou vle (say what you want). For me personally, I would love prayer in my new "expectations" and working through my still insecure feelings about teaching and having no idea what I'm doing and feeling very inadequate. But as my sister reminded me the other day, I would not be here if God wouldn't be mightier than I and will somehow enable me to do what I need to do here.