Tét Chaje

BONJOU!!!
Tét chaje deja. SVP, w'ap tounen demen. Mesi anpil.

This is the sign on my door. Or will be as soon as Ashley and I make it. LOL

Translation:
GOOD MORNING!!!
My head has reached maximum capacity already. Please return tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Yeah, so that's been my state for about the past week and I'm not really sure what to do accept feel like an idiot when my brain freezes and I can no longer speak English, Creole, or remember what I'm saying in either language. Argh.

Today, Ashley and I went to the bookstore and LOOKED AT BOOKS! (Thank you, Captain Obvious).  But is was actually really cool: I saw a book of 999 Haitian Proverbs in English and Creole. Here is the proverb that struck me in the right way (funny how the right Haitian proverb seems to pop up just when I need it)

"Fók ou aprann p'pou konprann: si ou pa aprann w'ap rete déyé"
Translation:
You must learn to understand: if you don't learn, you will stay behind

Funny how often the opposite of how you feel is what you must learn/do. My current situation is a perfect example. I can feel myself growing and stretching and soaking up more and more. Now the challenge is figuring out what to do when your sponge is full. If you have any advice, please feel free to share!

On another note, I find it quite entertaining that no matter what, whenever I try to speak Creole Haitians laugh. I'm not sure if they're laughing cuz it's good or bad or just plain funny. I'm ok with it, it just cracks me up. AND whenever I speak Creole or do anything, Haitians are like, "Li inteligánt" (she's intelligent with maybe correct spelling--haha, that's ironic to the statement). Anyway, just an entertaining fact for the day.

Please leave advice or thoughts or random comments below. OR you can just read this and move on to something else. OR you can not read this at all and never know what you're missing! ORRRR...I have nothing else...Tét chaje.

Live and Love, my friends!

Kreyol in action

This may be the first day I begin to feel at home in Haiti. Today Ashley (the other volunteer from the States) and I went “out on the town” to explore and find our way around. This guy comes up along side us and passes us but says Bonjou so I replied the same and then he was saying something more to Ashley who was in front of me so I asked him what he was saying and then he starts speaking a bit of English (hows that for a runon sentence?). Anyway, he pretty much accompanied us the whole time we were out and I think Creole started sticking today by me trying to speak to him and by him speaking to me. This group of kids even stopped us to talk to us and tell us about this fundraiser they were having and I understood some of it. It was fun, actually and I quite feel at home now. I also discovered, if I’m trying to hear and understand Creole and I’m thinking in English, it doesn’t work out so well. Gotta start thinking in Creole or just turn off the thinking. I’m excited to get to the point where I don’t have to think so hard about what they’re saying to understand. Cuz right now, I have to be looking at them, listening closely, and thinking hard about what they’re saying in order to get it—and sometimes I don’t even get it, but oh well.

I am blessed.

I am blessed. In so many ways. I have people whom I love and who love me. I have a place to stay, food to eat, and I am learning so much. My life is changing, everyday I grow. It's so ironic that Life teaches you as you live it. I realized something big (for me anyway) yesterday: I've always thought that life is preparing and then performing (just like you do for a recital or concert), but it's not at all that way. Rather life is a continual learning process--you can never be fully "prepared" for the unexpected (otherwise, it wouldn't be unexpected), nor can you be fully "ready" for the unknown (otherwise it wouldn't be unknown). There's not place to learn better than in the thick of it, whatever "It" is: learning a language, performing a new piece, moving to a foreign country, doing a new sport or activity.

I've also been learning what to expect from myself. It's been a huge adventure, that's for sure! The accusation voice has been much more silent recently and it's amazingly freeing! This brings me to something else I've learned: when life becomes "goal-oriented", one loses sight of people, including self. Everything becomes a chore, a task, something to accomplish. That's all well and good until you fall short and the guilt comes flooding in--I didn't meet that time constraint, I didn't reach that goal, I didn't accomplish such and such. "Plan-based" schedules only get you so far. "People-base" schedules, letting people guide the goals one sets, I've learned is a better approach.  Leave the goals open-ended and see what can be accomplished. For example, if I have a new piece to learn, instead of setting dates with specific goals in mind, I can do as much as I can and see where I get. Practicing becomes a motivation rather than a chore or a duty. The end goal is exciting rather than a cause of elation or of dissatisfaction (usually the latter). In this view, one can still push themselves but without it becoming self-defeating and discouraging. This is all so new to me, but I'm going to try it. I have a feeling it will change the way I practice, the way I do everything I learn in life, and the way I teach and what I expect of my students.

I love being in Haiti.

I spent this past week with the Reinhards. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people as crazy as me and have a surrogate family for a week! They are absolutely wonderful!!

I still have so much to learn and I look forward to my growth as a person, as a human being, as a teacher, as a musician, and everything else!

Feel free to ask for prayer in your post or if you'd rather email me to keep it private (k.klopfenstein88@gmail.com). I love each one of you so much, even if I don't know you and you're reading this, I love you. :) So feel free to be open. If there's one thing I love about the Haitians, they say exactly what they mean and are not afraid to express themselves.  Di sa ou vle (say what you want). For me personally, I would love prayer in my new "expectations" and working through my still insecure feelings about teaching and having no idea what I'm doing and feeling very inadequate. But as my sister reminded me the other day, I would not be here if God wouldn't be mightier than I and will somehow enable me to do what I need to do here.